BUY A MISSILE!So you say you’ve watched the war on TV since its beginning. Probably flew a flag in front of your house, too, eh? Rooted for our troops? You betcha. Maybe even chucked a rock through the windshield of your daughter’s high school French teacher’s car. So what? Join the crowd. So did everybody else! But no worries, mister. Want a chance to stand out from the rest and truly show your loyalty to God and country? I thought so. Well, what better way to show you’re a patriot than to buy ... a patriot! Missile, that is. That’s right, buy a missile!
Economically, times are tough for our nation right now. All true, red-blooded Americans need to pitch in. And what America needs most is a few good missiles. Remember all those billions of dollars in perfectly good missiles we shot at Iraq? Well, those bombs aren’t going to replace themselves. Give your country a hand, or at least some arms! For a tax deductible donation of $100 or more (depending on the type of missile you choose), you can help America replenish its magnificent arsenal. Donations of $5000 or more ensure entry into the AMERICAN ZEALOTS™ club, which includes having your name and a personal message painted onto the missile you helped to build. That’ll show ‘em! Leave a legacy for the next generation’s war. And remember, we still have two more "Axis of Evil" countries to go after before the November ’04 election, so get that checkbook out and give till it hurts. The enemy, that is!
Please select type of warhead desired:
Stinger ______ $100
Tomahawk ______ $500
Patriot ______ $1000
Cluster Bomb ______ $2500
Bunker Buster ______ $5000
AMERICAN ZEALOTS™!
____ Yes, please sign me up for the AMERICAN ZEALOTS™ club! A check for $5000 is enclosed.
____ No, I’m not interested in this membership. Please send an FBI agent to my home to discuss my possible involvement with al Qaeda.
Text for warhead message (ZEALOTS ONLY):
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